Everyone has to sell them selves as they vend their way through the world; yet the identity “salesperson” comes with a stigma. Poor salespeople give the business a bad name, perhaps pressuring and pushing or peddling poor products. Some salespeople however have superlative skills when it comes to dealing with people.

Successful salespeople communicate effectively. They don’t need to be great visionary orators, but they do manage to speak their message with simple clarity. Selling is about relating to people and so making it possible for them to understand your worth.

Part of this effective communication is the ability to listen well. Paying close attention to other people builds trust and rapport. It also provides information about how people perceive their environment and in turn how you can provide service and value according to their context.

Another aspect of effective communication is inquisitiveness about other people that has them asking questions that lead to more conversation. A good salesperson’s genuine interest in others infects those people with greater interest in themselves.

Great salespeople have a high self-esteem that invites those around them to share their sense of positive confidence. They don’t judge people harshly and can accordingly speak as a friend and equal to everyone.

They also tend against judging themselves harshly and thus have the ability to behave without shame. The advantage in this is the freedom to achieve things outside of normal rules. Rather than being concerned to march in line, they dance with wild abandon to the drumbeat heard within.

Another quality good salespeople exude is respect. Consideration and interest means that courteous good manners are genuine and consistent rather than contrived. This becomes the basis for building trust in long-term relationships.

Respect also invites the fact that good salespeople are honest and ethical. They aren’t afraid to take assertive risks with relationships by speaking the truth they believe in. Good salespeople know not everyone will buy, but their integrity means that those who do will continue coming back.

Successful selling is not a bad behaviour. Indeed developing super sales skills seems appropriate when you’re selling something as valuable as yourself.

Martin Hunter Jones is an honorary life member of the Australian Counselling Association. He has a Counselling and Hypnotherapy practice on the Northern Beaches. For appointments call 9973 4997.