Perhaps 2008 could be the year for taking complete responsibility for everything that happens in your life.

Taking complete responsibility doesn’t mean mindless obedience. There’s no shortage of people prepared to tell you how to behave but that would mean handing your responsibility to someone else. Others may have information that’s useful to consider, but ultimately taking responsibility requires you think for yourself.

Taking responsibility doesn’t involve blame. Blame isn’t useful for anyone, especially when you blame yourself. Though we can all always do better into the future, everyone can be easily seen as doing the best they could if you take their entire situation into account.

When you blame someone you’re throwing away your power to change a similar situation in the future. It refuses the lesson that each opportunity presents, instead demanding that another learns what you wish them too or punishing them with criticism if they learnt too slowly.

Taking responsibility requires that you be in charge of every adaptation you see as required. It means that if you don’t like a situation, you lead the change. It means that if you think you know what to do then you have a go at making it so, and if you don’t know what to do then you strive to find out and then put your discoveries into action.

You might find that as you take responsibility the things you complain about in other people and situations are not so simple as you would prefer. One thing you may learn as you set upon this path is the need for greater patience in both yourself and others.

You may also discover that other people have better intentions and skills than you had imagined from your previously petulant position. As your respect for other people grows so will your respect for yourself. It is likely you will find yourself more inclined to ask people why they do things rather than assume from a position of arrogance.

If we each take complete responsibility for the challenges we see, we’ll experience instead of imagine how much better our world can be.

Martin Hunter Jones is an honorary life member of the Australian Counselling Association. He has a practice on the Northern Beaches. Phone 9973 4997.